"Recent break-up? 10 remedies to heal a broken heart”
Guest Blogger for Love Upside Down: Helen Victoria Is a Relationship Expert & Writer
I cannot (and will not) tell you that a relationship split won’t hurt. In fact, it is probably already hurting you quite a bit already. The pain level may vary from person to person, but the wound is always raw.
No matter how strong the reasons for a break-up might be, they cannot negate the pain and hurt incurred when the divide actually happens. The healing process can be an extremely challenging time of anyone’s life and one the hardest things a person will go through in their life.
So, how can we navigate our way through a break up while avoiding as much further hurt to ourselves as possible?
Here are 10 individual remedies for a broken heart that you can start applying today:
1) Be gentle with the most important person in your life. No matter the circumstance, the most important person in your life right now, is you. Whether you like the idea or not, this is even more true in circumstances of significant personal pain. Give yourself permission to put yourself first during this early phase of healing, whatever that means for you. Self care is key.
2) Do not - repeat NOT - contact your ex. Right now, you need to focus on you and not a lot else. Regard this as an injury to your life, which it truly is. Don’t try to run on a broken ankle. You might have mentioned to one another that one day you’ll repatriate. But it’s far too soon to tell if that is a good idea or not. Rushing back too soon will just confuse things for you both. Put down that phone, turn off that laptop, and avoid driving near where they live or work. You future self (and your ex) will thank you for it.
3) Check in on your emotions. Do you feel stressed? Angry? Sad? Further to this, how is your physical health? It’s tempting to ignore pain or even to try to numb it completely. You’ll be experiencing a roller coaster of feelings and instincts right now. This is totally normal and very much to be expected. Adrenaline contributes hugely to emotional impact, but panic or even anger can be signs that you need to work through your experiences properly. Take your time.
4) Take a nutritional approach. Taking care of your well-being during this time is vital. You may not feel like eating or drinking at all, but do try and consume as much nutritious food and vitamins as you possibly can. Even if you have to make smoothies or buy ready made meals for a few weeks. Anything that keeps your energy up will make a huge difference to your coping abilities. Ever tried to solve a problem while you were tired or hungry? Exactly! Fill your healing body with goodness, your body with rest, and your heart with love for yourself. You need it now more than ever, trust me.
5) Accept the support of others. It might be the case that you need to organise urgent childcare or that you need to find a place to stay by the end of the evening. Perhaps you might need a trusted friend or family member to aide you in collecting your belongings from the home you formerly shared. Don’t be afraid to seek help from friends and family. That’s what they’re there for.
6) Bring in the professionals. Going forward, you may need to enlist professional help from lawyers, house clearance specialists, or financial advisers. Make sure you put into place the help you’ll need for as long as you really need it. You have enough to deal with emotionally right now without adding the extra stress of researching laws and housing rights. Remember that this isn’t something you have to deal with alone - so don’t.
7) Allow space for a realistic perspective. When things first break down, it can feel like a whirlwind. No, scratch that. It can feel like a truck has just hit you at full force, without a bumper. Sound familiar? During these fragile first few days and weeks you need to take time to adjust to your new schedule and environment. Stop those self induced time pressure clocks, and take the time that you really need to recover.
8) Get some sleep! Lack of sleep, stress and huge amounts of change aren’t an ingredient list for the greatest of perspectives. Please don’t bother trying to ‘push through’ without any proper sleep. It will only lead to you feeling more strained and less able to cope with daily life while you recover from what you’re going through right now. Switch off all distractions, silence that telephone, and turn in whenever you need rest. Would you blame someone for napping if they had just had major surgery? Exactly.
9) Avoid any ‘BIG’ decisions. Now is not the time for life-changing choices - you have had quite enough of those to deal with for now. Give your energy instead to restoring yourself physically and mentally as thoroughly as you can. From a place of healing, you will be able to make the decisions you need to with a far clearer mind.
10) Embrace new chapters. Always wanted to try salsa? Never been to that fancy restaurant in town? Now is the time. Grab a friend or take yourself out alone to enjoy some downtime where you can be around new people and enjoy a fresh experience. You don’t have to do anything that feels intimidating or overwhelming. But it’s alright to try something new purely to make yourself happy. You’re allowed to be happy.
As a relationship expert who has been through two incredibly painful relationship endings, I truly identify with you right now. I know it may seem like you’re the only person on the planet experiencing what you are facing. You are not alone in this, despite how you might be feeling. Don’t forget how incredibly valuable you are to the world. No matter if you chose to end things or the relationship came to an end before you were ready, it is an injury to our self esteem in many ways. Sometime incredibly painfully so. But this is not the end for you.
You’ve got this, I promise. Your future happiness really is on its way - even if you can’t quite see it yet.
Guest Blog: Helen Victoria Is a Relationship Expert & Writer https://www.living-liberte.com/