“5 signs your relationship will last - including the one to look out for!” ~ Helen Victoria
Guest Post: Helen Victoria is a Relationship Expert & Writer
No matter how long we have been in a relationship, it can sometimes be difficult to work out where it’s really headed. Perhaps you’re in the early days of seeing someone very special. Or maybe you have been together a little while longer, and you’re starting to wonder where to go from here.
Unfortunately, relationship health is not automatic and it won't take care of itself. It relies upon more than attraction, and good environmental circumstances just aren’t enough to keep things in shape. With end of year work pressures and social commitments all vying for our attention, it's all too easy to let relationship wellbeing fall quietly to the bottom of our festive priority list.
So how can we identify if our relationship is set for a healthy, happy long term future - or if it’s one that’s headed in the wrong direction?
If you’re looking for answers, then you’re in the right place!
Read on for your ‘need to know’ guide to the signs that your relationship will last - including the most important one;
Respect “take all the time you need…” Is your partner allowing your relationship to develop at a pace you’re comfortable with? This is just one of the ways your partner can show you the respect you deserve. It can also be a significant sign of positive communication between you. This doesn't just apply to the dreamy early days of dating! Pay attention to your conversations together and listen to your intuition - it can be a powerful informer of how you’re really feeling.
Trust “have a good time with the girls tonight.”
Happy, long-term relationships are firmly built on the foundation bricks of trust. You should be able to enjoy time away from one another without unreasonable telephone contact or your plans being checked. A healthy relationship is built on a genuine belief in the other person, without the need for checking up on you. It's definitely OK to miss you! But if you cannot be apart without arguments breaking out, then this needs to be addressed sooner rather than later.
Openness “I need to talk about my past”
We've all done things in the past we aren’t proud of. But it’s important to be open with our partner about the elements of our lives that might impact them in the future. If you and your partner are able to communicate supportively about where you’ve been in life, then this stands you in strong grounding going forwards. You might be surprised at how much less of a ‘big deal’ it actually seems once it's out in the open.
Team-work “What can we do to make this better?”
You are inevitably going to face challenges together sometimes - what’s important is that you are able to work through these hurdles without feeling you are fighting the battle alone. If you and your partner are able to face the world as a team then this is a great sign that your relationship together could really go the distance. You cannot control what life will throw at you, but you certainly can take positive action to support your partner when the need arises, just as you can expect them to do for you.
Encouragement “I think you’d be great at that!”
You deserve to explore where your dreams and ambitions could take you in life - it’s a big wide world out there! If your partner is encouraging you to be all you can be, then this is a brilliant sign of healthy behaviour. Every relationship takes compromise which includes consideration of how your choices will affect the other person. Your dreams and goals are worth listening to, and worth celebrating. No matter if you ever actually pursue them or not! If this is a part of your experience with your other half, then this is a great sign for the future of your bond.
Vision “I really love who you are.”
There is no one on the planet the same as you, and that's something pretty remarkable in itself. Your partner should be able to see the best sides of who you are, even when you can’t see them for yourself. If you and your partner can cultivate the very best aspects of each other, then this is a sign of a really healthy forward motion. Your partner should be the person to remind you of your worth if and when you stumble, with a guiding hand back to your true path, just as you should be for them in their lives. Don’t forget why you fell for one another in the first place - and keep falling for each other, as you get to know more about each other!
Friendship “I’ll be there for you.”
Don’t panic - I’m not asking you to ‘friend-zone’ your partner or spouse! What I'm referring to here is in fact the most important aspect of any relationship. The element that many couples overlook all too easily. Would you ignore a best friend's achievements? Or take out a bad day on a colleague at the office? Think for a moment how your partner speaks to you - is it contrasting to what you would hope for? We are often significantly closer to our partner than we are to friends or workmates which does implicate higher running levels of emotion. But we do need to consider if we have been good friends to one another, even on the difficult days. It can be the divider between a great relationship and one of distance or unhappiness. It could make all the difference to the length of your future together.
Ultimately, we cannot predict the future any more than we can control the emotions and actions of another person. Attempting to do so will inevitably lead to frustration and unhappiness for you, which is certainly not what we went into the relationship looking for in the first place!
If you are regularly feeling unsure or unsupported in your relationship, then it could be that you need to consider what you want from this partnership going forwards. It might be that you need to open up some communication with your partner to help how you’re feeling. Or it could be that you need to take some time to work out if this is the right partnership for you.
If you have read these five pointers and you’re feeling inspired to grow your relationship, then there’s no better time to start than the present!
With the festive season approaching, this is your moment to do something thoughtful for your partner. Beyond expensive gift purchasing, try doing something for your other half that will remind them why you love them. You could book a special meal at the restaurant of your first date, create a photo-book of your early experiences, or get hold of tickets for the comedy night you know they’d love.
On a tight budget? Get creative, with an inexpensively made ‘treasure hunt’ at home. Use clues about you both to lead the way! No matter how you go about it, a considerate nod towards the love you shared at the beginning can be a great way to reconnect while injecting some vital fun into the landscape of your relationship.
We all deserve the kind of love that helps us to be the best version of ourselves, and to be appreciated for being that person. We deserve the sort of love that we hoped for originally, when we entered into a relationship in the first place. The kind that we would want for anyone we love and care about. This should never be forgotten, regardless of the circumstances you find yourself in.
More than anything, never forget what a special, unique individual you are. No matter what your relationship status, you are truly worthy of healthy, happy love.
Enjoy the journey - it’s yours to explore!
Guest Post: Helen Victoria is a Relationship Expert & Writer